I am happy to say that at this point the valium withdrawal and disequilibrium nonsense is pretty much over with!
I couldn’t be happier.
A lot has changed though. My anxiety baseline is now lower than what it was on valium, for some strange reason. I thought I would be an anxious mess, having panic attacks all the time, without valium. But I’m not. It just dulled the severity.
Obviously propranolol plays a bit into this, it kills the physical signs of anxiety, which helps kill the mental signs. When your heart is racing and palms are sweaty, you’re going to be more anxious mentally. When the physical signs aren’t there, it’s easier to calm down.
I learned an interesting way to calm down that I was later told is actually practicing something called biofeedback. If I start panicking, I’ll look at my smart bracelet’s readings. It has “Pulse”, “Blood Pressure”, “HRV”, “Stress”, etc. If my heart rate and HRV and everything are normal (they usually are) I can usually calm myself down by simply telling myself I’m not panicking physically, and it generally jolts me down into “no longer panicking”. It sounds bizarre, I didn’t realize what | was doing, and it oddly works.
Here’s how that works.
Biofeedback and Anxiety
Biofeedback is a technique that teaches you o control certain automatic body functions – like heart rate, breathing, muscle tension, temperature or stress response by making those processes visib to your conscious mind,
Normally, your body runs these behind the scenes, and they’re all automatic. Biofeedback let’s you see them happening, and change them in real time.
Usually people use devices (heart rate monitors, EMG sensors, skin temperature sensors) but you can use pretty much anything to DIY, like a smart watch/bracelet, watching your breathing, and muscle sensation.
How Does It Work?
You observe a body signal, like your heart is beating too fast.
You change something simple and measurable, like your breathing speed.
You see your body signal start to change, like your heart rate slows down and your tension drops.
You teach your brain that you can turn the dial on your own nervous system.
Musicians, athletes, and even astronauts use biofeedback – it gives you manual control over systems most people never influence on purpose. I learned I was doing it kind of randomly, and on purpose. Interesting!
Accidentally Practicing Biofeedback On Myself
I’ve heard of biofeedback, but I haven’t ever really practiced it or thought much into it. Honestly, when I heard about it I thought it was kind of stupid or boring, you just sit there and breathe and watch your stats on a monitor. This was before smartwatches and stuff. So I never really thought it would be useful or actually helpful.
I would watch my heartrate on my smart bracelet when my anxiety hit really hard. I would watch it then drop as I was breathing, or relaxing my muscles. I would track it if I thought my heart was beating too fast (tachycardia) and notice when it settled. I monitored my HRV (although I still don’t know wtf it is) and sat it moving into different categories, like “low” and “normal”. Mine hasn’t gone over “normal”.
I was literally watching my autonomic nervous system in real time and then adjusting my body to change the numbers. This helped me from crashing and spiraling to anxiety, it gave me actual proof I wasn’t about to drop dead, and it stabilized the withdrawal-driven adrenaline surges.
This helped rebuild my nervous system calibration. Withdrawal sucked and I don’t want to do it again, but people are kind of wondering what the hell I did to get off valium after 23 years and not have crazy symptoms for months, I did go through withdrawal, post-acute withdrawal, and all the fun things nobody tells you about – like disequilibrium.
And for a fun end to this post, I got through 2 extractions at the dentist, and placement of an immediate partial denture without valium or any sedative. I wasn’t particularly anxious, more dreading it, but I didn’t freak out, nothing bad happened, and I healed fast.
None of this is medical advice. Don’t ever stop your meds without a doctor. Don’t do what I did.
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